Nurturing an healthy relationship to foster marriage

How can we nurture 

our relationship to build an healthy 

Marriage?

We are going to examine four key points

Through worthy and healthy sacrifices

Through spiritual gifts; devotion

Through emotional gift; attention

1. Through worthy and healthy sacrifices

 What do you understand by a healthy sacrifice?

The most important thing in a relationship is love. But how do we define love/express love?

This famous biblical definition comes to mind;

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Jh 3:16

Let's take a critical look at the above scripture:

God expressed His love for humanity by sacrificing the most important person to him.

The word to underline here is sacrifice

What type of sacrifice? a valuable sacrifice.

A common example is what a lot of our mothers did for us as children

Some mothers sacrifice their careers for a while

In a relationship, it's important to take important decision and steps that will positively impact the health of our relationship

Let's look at this; 

Your partner is working in Lagos, you are planning to get married soon, will it be wise to take up an offer in Kano?

A lot of people will say it depends on the type of job etc. 

This little example here can break even the most healthy relationships.

If the parties involved are not willing to be diligent about their decisions

2.Through spiritual gifts; devotion

"Rejoice evermore.  Pray without ceasing.  In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you".

1 Thessalonians 5:16‭-‬18 KJV

There is this popular saying that a family that prays together stays together. 

The dating period is one of the most important times we can learn to pray together and for each other. Don't just hold casual conversations and discuss about happenings at work, pray about them. The above reference scripture says; pray without ceasing. Its important!

Some people may argue that we don't need to be overly religious

May I ask, how did God create the world?

Through his words.  Not some random words; 'deliberately thought out words'

When we pray together we release life deliberately into our relationships and this helps us to grow

Distance is not an we excuse in this regard

And no, we shouldn't wait till he/she becomes your wife or husband officially before you start praying

Even as a single person desiring to be married , pray for your future spouse

3.Through emotional gift; attention 

Often times we are so busy with things and people around us or we claim to be. But it is very important that we create time for the person we love. I used to have a casual friend back in the university days who mutes his phone whenever we were together, he wasn't doing it because we were friends but out of respect. We were not even emotionally involved, so the only explanation was respect. 

In Genesis 3:9 KJV

 And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

In the above scripture, God Himself came down to abraham to ask about him. 

You want an healthy relationship?

Keep in touch.

How? Call, text, meet physically 

When you are together pay attention

Some people have so much mastered the act of passive listening

When you are with your spouse pay attention to the person

Listen actively that way you will know when to show empathy

"When you pay attention you will notice even the unspoken words and hear the unexpressed emotions". Olamide 2020

Some of us married folks are on this table.

Don't be too quick to assume you know what the other person is saying

Learn to pay attention

It's a skill that should be learnt actively

4.Through physical gifts.

No matter how rich you are you will always appreciate a gift

Sometimes it's not the gift in itself that matters but the thought put into it.

This doesn't mean you should buy cheap gifts

Even in John 3:16 scriptures tells us that God gave His only son. Let's learn to give expensive gifts; not just boxers or singlets.

Put a thought into the gift, find out what your spouse really needs and make attempt to get it for them. Put in an element of surprise when possible. 

Have yourselves a blessed relationship.